Tough Mudder 2012 Round up.

Activity: Tough mudder
Training Partner: alex and denny
Calories intake: 1350
Exercise calories: ~2000

Session : Tough mudder – 20km Obstacle course.

Damage: Calf and knees.


What can i say about tough mudder. Only two words. FUCKING AWESOME. I don’t remember last time i had so much fun.

The huge quest involved driving about 950km each way to the event which was a nice ~10 hour drive each way. So it went 10 hour drive then sleep, then wake up, tough mudder, sleep, then another 1000 KM back home.  For the event i donned the traditional head wear for the event.

I ran with 2 other mates. Unfortunately one of them rolled his ankle at the 4km mark not on an obstacle mind you. He was taking of his shirt and fell over. So the rest of the race was slow. I just sprinted ahead and then waited for them to catch up every few 100 meters so i can make the race feel for what it was. I did a fair bit of walking with him too just to encourage him along. Enough of that. More about the stories of awesomeness.

I ended up getting some pretty bad cramps after the first electro shock obstacle in my calf’s so everything from about 16km on i was getting stuck from cramps but i still made it after much screaming and walkng it out. The electro shock set it off when i got zapped in the hammie and calf.

Lets go through the obstacles: (rough order could be out of order too)

Arctic Enema

This was the second obstacle, after getting muddy in the old creek beds you jump into a skip of ice. It wasn’t much colder than the rivers. But it sucked when you had to put your head under the water to get past the obstacle. My balls shrink to the size of peas.

Kiss of Mud

Just alot of running through lots of mud. Wasn’t too bad except it smelt like horse shit.

Berlin Walls #1

These walls were about 2.5 meters high it was an easy obstacle if you can do any pullups, we ended up helping some fair lasses over the wall here.

Electric Eel
This was around the 12-14km mark

Ok this where it got interesting. You were not allowed to slide like a slip and slide through the small slip and slide styled obstacle. This is where you get zapped by 5000 volt wires. I was doing quite well only some minor shocks right up too some macho guy barrels neat to me and puts a wire on my face.. BOOOOM i got smashed hard by the wire. No problems. I just screamed a bit and kept moving. Then i got zapped on my ass hammies and calf at the same time. It set off the cramps that plagued me . Some guy decided to “help me” by pulling me forward all that did was zapp us both and i got my shoulders zapped hard.

Boa Constrictor
Tight tunnels to water and back up a tunnel. It was way to easy this one.

Trench warefare

These weren’t underwater but a mud track dug into the ground with like pine board on the top. It was pretty fun and dark. But not scary due to no water.

Walk the Plank

This was 3rd last on the course. It involved jumping off a 5 meter platform into water. No problems i jump off and can opener in. Then CRAMMMP in my calf again. Trying to swim with a calf cramp sucked.

Mud Mile

This was the SUCKIEST bit of the course. You run in mud for about 1km. Then all the sudden you see people on their bellies wading and I’m thinking to my self “what are these people doing just run across”. Then i relised why. I hit some massive pot holes the mud was covering. So there would be random holes in the mud every meter or so , you couldn’t run. Then came the mud mounds. Massive mounds, massive trenches FULL of mud. Stupid me just goes up the mound and jumps off hitting the mud and getting neck high in the stuff. Leg cramps. I am stuck neck high with a calf cramp. It took 2 people to pull me out of the mudd. Eventually i helped a chick get over a couple of obstacles and luckily she helped me pull through the muck. It was just insane.

Hold your Wood

1km walk with wood (a actual log not an erection).

Funky Monkey
MONKEY BARS! I didn’t make it all the way. I should have taken my gloves off i slipped off one of the bars.


Second last event, i think its a 5 meter high half pipe. I didn’t make this obstacle i was so pissed about it. I helped my mate up then i went to sprint up the ramp. At the same time i get about 1/4 the way up the guys that grab hold of you decided to grab someone else. My calf and hip cramped as i jumped . I hit the upper lip and my mate grabbed my arm but he was too weak to hold me up so i could pull myself up. I fell back down i had to walk around.

Electroshock Therapy

OK this is where the fun was. A 10 meter sprint through the shock wires. We get to the obstacle and me and my mate an a couple of some other dudes line up to take the sprint. We take off and the dude in from of me gets ahead. I put my arms to to stop my face getting zapped again. As i did this the guy in from get zapped hard and just falls over. I didn’t see it.. I plow straight into him full sprint, go ASS OVER TITS. Get Zapped and calf cramps at the same time. I get zapped another 6-8 times trying to get up to get up. Screaming i get out luckily after a couple of other zaps. But my leg is locked solid. I had to be helped over the finish line. But i made it.

It wasn’t particularly a hard event. Just a long slog, more mental than physical. I wasn’t stuffed or exhausted after it, i felt good and had a huge smile on my face.

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